There are many styles of parenting. When parents use a consultant style of parenting, they are able to give suggestions and offer options.

By setting limits and giving choices within those limits, this helps children learn to be responsible, giving them the opportunity to practice the decision-making process. One should always give them choices that fit the child’s age and development, with-in the boundaries you set. When this is done consistently, they use their energy to weigh their choices and are too busy thinking to argue.

• Do you want to wear the blue shirt or the red one?
• For dinner, we can have hotdogs or spaghetti, you decide.
• Should we play Uno or Monopoly, you can choose.

As they get older, we can give them more choices and more important ones. This gives them the opportunity to gradually become more responsible for their actions. Allowing them to make choices gives some control over their life.

• You can go out with your friends on Saturday or Friday night, you decide.
• The chores for today are to sweep the garage, weed the garden or mow the lawn. You choose one.
• I will give you $50 to buy winter clothes: coat, hat and gloves. You decide what you want that fits in this budget.

A consulting style of parenting balances rights and responsibilities. It helps teenagers become responsible by showing them respect and giving them opportunities to make decisions. When we give children choices, it shows we believe they are competent and their opinions are important.

###

Submitted by Kathy Day for Uplift Families