All the chaos and uncertainty of the last year may have left many parents wondering what is the best way to raise their children to live happy, healthy, and productive lives? Could their children be at a higher risk for substance misuse? What kind of an impact has the pandemic had on our youth? Quarantine, social isolation and family losses and separations are only a few of the issues that families have faced during this historic period that may have increased risks of unhealthy behaviors. How do we as parents help build resiliency and family bonding?

“Studies have shown that when individuals are overloaded beyond capacity, adverse effects such as information avoidance, confusion in decision making, and lack of compliance with recommended behaviors may emerge”.

We are eight months into 2021 and more health-related data from 2020 comes in every day. Last month, the CDC released provisional data that more than 93,000 people died of a drug overdose in the U.S. in 2020, an increase of 29.4% from 2019. 

All the chaos and uncertainty of the last year may have left many parents wondering what is the best way to raise their children to live happy, healthy, and productive lives? Could their children be at a higher risk for substance misuse? What kind of an impact has the pandemic had on our youth? Quarantine, social isolation and family losses and separations are only a few of the issues that families have faced during this historic period that may have increased risks of unhealthy behaviors. How do we as parents help build resiliency and family bonding?

Research supported by the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) shows the important role that parents play in preventing drug use in their children. GOOD COMMUNICATION between parents and children is the foundation of strong family relationships. Developing good communication skills helps parents catch problems early, support positive behavior, and stay aware of what is happening in their children’s lives.

BEFORE YOU BEGIN:

• Be sure it’s a good time to talk and you can focus one hundred percent on communicating with your child.
• Have a plan.
• Gather your thoughts before you approach your child.
• Be calm and patient.
• Limit distractions. Turn phones and devices off and put them away.
• Set a time frame for the discussion so the child knows what to expect.
   

KEY COMMUNICATION SKILLS INCLUDE

QUESTIONING:  The kind of information you receive depends a lot on how you ask the question!

Show interest/concern. Don’t blame/accuse. For example: Instead of “How do you get yourself into these situations?” say, “That sounds like a difficult situation. Were you confused?”

Encourage problem solving/thinking. For example: Instead of, “What did you think was going to happen when you don’t think? Say, “So, what do you think would have been a better way to handle that?”

LISTENING & OBSERVING:   Youth feel more comfortable bringing issues and situations to their parents when they know they will be listened to and not accused.

REDUCING EMOTION:  Sometimes talking with children brings up strong feelings that interfere with clear thinking. Following the CALM steps can help a parent keep the conversation moving in the right direction.

C – Control your thoughts and actions
A – Assess & decide if you are too upset to continue
L – Leave the situation if you are feeling too upset
M – Make a plan to deal with the situation.

EXTRA TIPS:

• Be present and tuned in.
• Show understanding.
• Listen with respect.
• Remain engaged.
• Avoid negative emotions.
• Give encouragement.

Raising healthy children and families can be a tough challenge at best but learning to communicate can not only build healthy family relationships but also is a vital skill that will serve them for a lifetime.

Other key components of positive parenting are ENCOURAGEMENT, NEGOTIATION, SETTING LIMITS, SUPERVISION and KNOWING YOUR CHILD’S FRIENDS. You can find more information on these components in the FAMILY CHECKUP – Positive Parenting Prevents Drug Use booklet at: https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/family-checkup/introduction

We can do this! According to research (www.parentsempowered.org) parents are the number one reason that children in Utah choose not to drink. When we pull together as families and communities – we can help lower the risk of youth drug misuse and suicide in Utah. 

Alyn Mitchell

Prevention Coordinator
San Juan County Utah Prevention Network