Can The Shoulds By Dr. Paul Jenkins

POSTED BY on December 24, 2019

Along with the holidays come expectations, and honestly, most of them are put upon us by ourselves. We tell ourselves we should send out cards to everyone we know, buy gifts and throw a big party for the neighbors. Then we feel frustrated because we’re not where we should be. To avoid holiday stress, CAN THE SHOULDS. Get rid of them.

Imagine taking whatever task it is and lift it off your shoulders and throw it out. There might be a few who say, “But Dr. Paul, I want to do this." Oh, well that's different. Do you want to do this stuff? Are you doing it because you should do it? Those things that you do this holiday season, choose to do. Does that make it feel different?

Now, take whatever task it is that you have decided to do and stay in the present. Stay here. Stay now. Most of the stress that you encounter as you get into the holidays is in anticipation of something that's not happening right now. You have to prepare for the party or for the event that's coming up. Or for the relatives that are coming from out of town. See, it's all in the future. It's not right now. Let's say that you are preparing holiday cards to send out to all of your friends and relatives. People that you knew 20 years ago. Are you feeling stressed because they might not get out in time or are you enjoying the act of physically writing a person's name that you care about? What if you could be in that moment? Enjoy writing the name. Be present in that moment because life is to be enjoyed now, not only after all the stuff is done. Stay in the present and give yourself and those around you the gift of being here and now.

To beat the holiday stress, you can turn your focus from inside of yourself to outside to others. This has a powerful impact on you psychologically and also socially. When you turn your focus from yourself, you feel less anxiety. That's one reason to do it, but another is it increases the meaning and the purpose in your life and it blesses the lives of other people. Some of my most memorable holidays include meaningful service that we chose to do together as a family. However you celebrate the holidays this year, choose to do it and stay in the moment. We wish you and your families a very Merry Christmas!

By Dr. Paul and the Live On Purpose Family

About Paul H. Jenkins, Ph.D.

Dr. Paul Jenkins works with organizations and individuals to establish and maintain habitual patterns of positive perception and focus that increase happiness, engagement, productivity, profit, and ultimate achievement of professional and personal life missions. With two decades of experience as a professional psychologist, Dr. Paul (as he is known to clients and his laughing, learning audiences) lays out the how and the why behind the art and science of being constructive in an often destructive environment. It is like having an owner’s manual for your brain – one you can actually read, understand, and apply. You understand your own mind and improve its functioning on purpose.

His deeply thoughtful writing, engaging and fun keynote addresses, powerfully practical breakout seminars, individual and corporate coaching and counseling are profound and simple. His

clients, readers, and audiences get an iron grip on powerful psychological principles that make an immediate difference in their personal, family, and professional lives.

Dr. Paul’s book Pathological Positivity and its pocket-sized companion Portable Positivity, are available now to power up your positivity. Corporate and group discounts can be arranged to provide these books to all members of your organization.

Paul H. Jenkins, Ph.D. Live On purpose
1429 S. 550 E.
Orem, UT 84097

Phone: 801-380-5161 voice or text

Email: [email protected]


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