Lorna Franke, in POWER Parenting, created a chart
| Posititve | Negative |
| From most to least | From most to least |
| 1. Calm, pleasant voice tone | 1. Overt Displays of anger |
| 2. Offers to help | 2. Accusing/blaming statements |
| 3. Joking | 3. Shouting |
| 4. Compliments on their performance | 4. Giving no opportunity to speak |
| 5. Fairness | 5. Mean, insulting remarks |
| 6. Explaining why, how, or what | 6. Unpleasant physical contact |
| 7. Concern | 7. Lack of fairness |
| 8. Enthusiasm | 8. Bossy, demanding |
| 9. Politeness | 9. Unpleasant |
| 10. Getting right to the point | 10. Unfriendly |
| 11. Giving specific examples | 11. Talking only about mistakes |
| 12. Eye Contact | 12. No eye contact |
Better relationships with our children and teens will be created by staying on the positive side of the chart.
Abbie Vianes, MPC, BCC
Abbie Vianes
